Saturday, August 28, 2010

Yoo

Hello.
Well i DID binge today, but obviously i purged and exercised for about 2 hours after wards and haven't touched food since (my binge was at about 5:30pm, its now 10pm) and I took 6 diet pills and drank only water. I am going to go on the treadmill soon too.

I haven't talked to my parents all day, so this is two days without saying a single word to them, i was down stairs for a bit when i first woke up, then my dad asked me a question and i just shrugged my shoulders and he was like "Fine don't talk to me see if i care" and i knew if i stayed down stairs any longer i would eventually get REALLY pissed off, so that's when i went up stairs and did my own thing, and exercised and stuff.
My mom tried talking to me a bunch of times but i just had that same pissed off look on my face and didn't even look at her, she was like "Cassandra, look, look, i wanna show you something look" and i didn't even glance or move my head. another time she was she opened my bedroom door while i was working out and was like "Hello!" and i slammed the door on her, and so then she was like "i was just trying to help and your not talking to me?!" Yes mom...invading my privacy and making me lose all trust in you is totally helping.
Then she went to bingo at 6:30pm until 9:30pm because she is an idiot and is losing all of our money going to bingo because she has a stupid gambling addiction, anyways, just now she opened my bedroom door and tried ONE more time to talk to me saying "hey..." (in a sad, quietish voice, because she is "hurt" I'm not talking to her) Once again i didn't say anything, Then she says "..Wheres your cat?", No reply. so she just closed the door.


I don't care if i ever talk to them again.
They have searched my room so many times in the past now i am just furious at them and cant wait to move out. I hate them. I hate them SO much! As if they think what they did was no big deal and "helpful". I could go on and on, but i cant even EXPLAIN how pissed off i am STILL about this whole situation.

I want to lose as much weight as i can to make them feel like shit about it all.
I cant wait for tomorrow so i can go another day ignoring them and hurt them even more. I want them to understand they cant just go through my shit while i am gone.

I hate my "parents".

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