Tuesday, September 28, 2010

ITS MY BARFDAY TODAY!


Hey guys!
sorry i havent been blogging much lately, the reason why is basically because i am sick of writing my failures. BUT i havent actually been doing so bad lately. Still binging every once in a while but i mean not as much (DEFINETELY not as much) and they arent as big, and i usually fast all day then binge at night (which isnt the best but still)
Yesterday i did alright I binged before bed and i was SO tired i thought "im keeping it in and going to sleep" then i LITERALLY had a fight with myself. talking to myself back and forth saying...

Mia: DONT KEEP IT IN!
Me: Its only one time! keeping it in ONE time wont do anything!
Mia: Yes it will! You are going to sleep on it! THROW IT UP!
Me: Im tired! My glands are swollen! My throat hurts! My lips are dry and chapped! I have sores on my tounge! I DONT WANT TO!
Mia: You shouldnt have binged then!
Me: You are right..

So i purged.

Today, I did fairly well! I DIDN'T BINGE! but i ate kind of a lot, but some was healthy, and i only ate because of alcohol munchies. (i had to drink! its not called a barfday part for no reason!)
So i had some cake (On my own time. i do NOT eat in front of people). I started off just picking at it with my fork, so i had a tiny bit then i stopped, then i had a little bit of potatoes with ketchup. I purged all of that.
Then i started to get healthy! I had a couple slices of cucumber, then i had a salad, but i stopped myself before finishing the salad, and i purged.
Then i didnt eat for a while, then i had a little piece of bread and more cake lmao.
PURGED. Then just now i had some more cake and cheetos lmao.
I love my cake.
So not the HEALTHIEST diet today but at least it wasn't all at once.. so i had time to burn some off, plus the purging.

GODDDDD!
My legs have gotten SO chunky by the way. I mean NOTICABLY. so i have been living in sweatpants. blah.
SO I AM FASTING TOMORROW! i have 8 "special pills"... dfghjkygtfdscfvghjkgfv
dont judge me lol.

I cant wait to start fasting and losing weight. EEEEEK :D i plan to be 97lbs again very soon.

SO for my birthday today i got a new digital camera! and a picture book. and 150 bucks to buy whatever i want lol. DIET SHIT HEAR I COME! i also got slim quick drink powder mix stuff, and alcohol lol.
so i had a good day.
By the way i am finally 18! yaaaaay. I am in a pretty good mood...maybe because im drunk and a tad bit stoned...gotta let loose and have fun sometimes right lol.

I love you guys!

Now i am going to read "Wasted".
OH SHIT! I also bought a simpsons comic book today. two words: Fuck Yes.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

congrats! :) happy birthday :) 18 means alcohol!! which is great =] and btw, get on msn! :) you said you wld but havent as yet =[

good luck xx

Kandie said...

Happy Birthday!

I hope you like Wasted. It's my faveorite book, I re-read it all the time. I just enjoy reading someone who I know is probably more messed up then me (though that's me denying my crazy).

Aurélia said...

Happy birthday love!
You can do it!

KrystalKlear said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL! :D
congrats on not binging! good luck! and i'm here whenever you need to talk :)
xxx

 

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