Sunday, September 12, 2010


Hey everyone!
Sorry i have been missing lately, I'm still alive though! haha. and honestly i don't think i have ever felt so alive!
I haven't been posting lately because the last few days i have been out drinking and just having...FUN! something i haven't had in a long time, i have so much to tell you all i don't even know where to begin haha so expect a long post!

First i will update you with my weight and how i am doing weight wise and eating wise. I haven't weighed myself in days. I am scared shitless to do that, I don't need to step on the scale to know i have gained, If i had to guess i would say it is somewhere between 105-110lbs. I am hoping it isn't over 110. But honestly i don't think it has gotten THAT bad hahah.
My binging is getting better! I mean, i haven't been restricting really, but i have definitely approved from my binging and purging 4-5 times a day. I am either eating a normal meal and purging, eating a LITTLE more then a normal meal and purging, or binging ONCE and then purging, And i can go longer throughout the day not eating. I actually did go one day fasting while i was gone.

Now for the FUN update! hahah. I will tell you day by day.

Day 1 (Monday): My friend had school on Tuesday, so Monday we decided to drink. and boy did we drink hahahaha. I had to sneak out, i originally planned on coming home before day light, but me AND my friend got home at 7am, when my family woke up haha, and we had to steal my friends car to drive me home in time! but we met up with one of our guy friend and listened to music at his place and drank. me and my friend left his place and walked back to hers, which is quite a ways away hhahah. we ran through a field with those sprinklers (the kind you see in the movie Thirteen) and we ran through them in our clothes but took off our shoes hahah. she lost her cell phone that night and i lost my ipod touch (damn!). we eventually got to her house hahaha and just stayed up all night, and went to her school drunk! (Its my old school i told you about, the really chill one!) anyways, i got kicked out hahhah and she left with me... and then this leads into day two....

Day 2 (Tuesday): One of the most random nights of my entire life lmao. where should i start, okay well. i was intoxicated with my friend (Same one from story one hahah) and we walked downtown in our hometown (pretty average sized city hahah) we met up with an old guy friend of mine i havent seen in a while! (i was originally suppose to meet up with this guy i really like, i will tell you about him soon don't worry ahhaha he is one reason i am really happy right now, but anyways, he just came back to town and so he wanted to catch up with some of his old friends and their mom), so me and my girl and guy friend just walked around downtown and drank, it was a pretty good time, he eventually went home and so me and my girl friend kept walking downtown finding out where our feet would take us hahah, we met up with a Bum (okay well he is a year older then me and he use to go to our school, but he is kind of like a punk kid, and he just CHOOSES to jump on trains and travel town to town with nothing but his guitar and make money that way. its really interesting, the guy i like does the same thing. but he isn't as dirty lmao) anyways, we met up with this guys and just started having a good time with him, walking around drinking, yelling random things at people, getting free beer by manipulating people hahah. good times, but then he was like "come sleep in my tent and run away to halifax with me" me and my friend were both like "hell no!" and ran from him when he turned around hahah! We then found a bakery, and knocked on the window and kept saying "FOOOOD! WE ARE HUNGRY" and so he let us in (it was closed!) and let us eat whatever we want lmao. we ate EVERYTHING (there were like 5 bags of muffins, and pastries) we just hopped up on the table, sat their and ate! hahaha i turned around and my friend opened up my bag and shoved bags in lmao. it was hilarious (she is also bulimic, so don't worry, we purged). We then met up with some random guys we met earlier that night and smoked weed at their place, i kind of over did it with the booze and weed, i blacked out. not good at all, so we had to leave. we were suppose to take a cab but we had no money and the guy forgot to give us the money, and my friends brother wasnt answering the phone. so we had to walk like 40 minutes back to her place. but i started to feel a bit better. I was suppose to go home that night too but i fell asleep at her place hahaha...

Day 3 (Wednesday, I think i mixed up the days...This happened Friday...hahah anyways):
MY FAVORITE DAY! gsjhdgasjgdjagdj!
Let me tell you about the guy i think i could really fall for hard, First let me say, i am not the type to be in relationships, i think they are a waste of time, boys are lame, i prefer to be single. But i always had this ideal guy in my head that i would always say "If i found someone like him, i would change my vies on relationships COMPLETELY!" and i found him!
My friend knew him when she was 9 because he lived 2 houses down. He is a punk kid too, jean vest with patches, leather jackets, the sloppy look, combat boots, ahaha, and he is just such a fun-loving guy, he is so free from everything! he goes off with a group of friends and travels with nothing. its so fascinating, but he has a home and comes back every now and then, he is back until winter. I am thinking about doing the traveling thing next summer.
Anyways, this is another drunken night, i met up with him and his friend and his friend had a banjo! he was playing downtown making money, so me and my friend sat down with them and started singing songs and just having fun lol, we sat their for a while then we all went behind an alley and started to drink and talk and get to know each other, and we had A LOT in common! which made me fall for him harder, like we were joking around, and it turns out he went to school with my brother! haha and started my brothers nickname which i also get called my a few people, he likes Elvis Presley and i grew up listening to him! he rocks a fanny pack and so do i!! i could go on and on hahaha. We eventually took off to his house and sat in his backyard for a bit, drinking and talking some more, and then we went to his basement and watched south park!
I went home at about 6 am, i had to take my friends car again so i would make it home on time hahaha, i had to get up in an hour for school. lets just say that didn't happen. I was still drunk when i woke up.

So i will end this here. lol i am in just really good mood, only because of this guy.
And now i really need to lose weight because i having something telling me he wont like me if I'm fat. Last night i actually cried before bed because i kept saying "He wont like me, im not pretty enough, im not thin enough, the guys i like never like me" and it sucks, because i like him quite a bit from what i know.
But finger crossed. I just need to drop a few pounds.



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