Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Hey guys!
sorry i havent been blogging much lately, the reason why is basically because i am sick of writing my failures. BUT i havent actually been doing so bad lately. Still binging every once in a while but i mean not as much (DEFINETELY not as much) and they arent as big, and i usually fast all day then binge at night (which isnt the best but still)
Yesterday i did alright I binged before bed and i was SO tired i thought "im keeping it in and going to sleep" then i LITERALLY had a fight with myself. talking to myself back and forth saying...

Me: Its only one time! keeping it in ONE time wont do anything!
Mia: Yes it will! You are going to sleep on it! THROW IT UP!
Me: Im tired! My glands are swollen! My throat hurts! My lips are dry and chapped! I have sores on my tounge! I DONT WANT TO!
Mia: You shouldnt have binged then!
Me: You are right..

So i purged.

Today, I did fairly well! I DIDN'T BINGE! but i ate kind of a lot, but some was healthy, and i only ate because of alcohol munchies. (i had to drink! its not called a barfday part for no reason!)
So i had some cake (On my own time. i do NOT eat in front of people). I started off just picking at it with my fork, so i had a tiny bit then i stopped, then i had a little bit of potatoes with ketchup. I purged all of that.
Then i started to get healthy! I had a couple slices of cucumber, then i had a salad, but i stopped myself before finishing the salad, and i purged.
Then i didnt eat for a while, then i had a little piece of bread and more cake lmao.
PURGED. Then just now i had some more cake and cheetos lmao.
I love my cake.
So not the HEALTHIEST diet today but at least it wasn't all at once.. so i had time to burn some off, plus the purging.

My legs have gotten SO chunky by the way. I mean NOTICABLY. so i have been living in sweatpants. blah.
SO I AM FASTING TOMORROW! i have 8 "special pills"... dfghjkygtfdscfvghjkgfv
dont judge me lol.

I cant wait to start fasting and losing weight. EEEEEK :D i plan to be 97lbs again very soon.

SO for my birthday today i got a new digital camera! and a picture book. and 150 bucks to buy whatever i want lol. DIET SHIT HEAR I COME! i also got slim quick drink powder mix stuff, and alcohol lol.
so i had a good day.
By the way i am finally 18! yaaaaay. I am in a pretty good mood...maybe because im drunk and a tad bit stoned...gotta let loose and have fun sometimes right lol.

I love you guys!

Now i am going to read "Wasted".
OH SHIT! I also bought a simpsons comic book today. two words: Fuck Yes.


Anonymous said...

congrats! :) happy birthday :) 18 means alcohol!! which is great =] and btw, get on msn! :) you said you wld but havent as yet =[

good luck xx

Kandie said...

Happy Birthday!

I hope you like Wasted. It's my faveorite book, I re-read it all the time. I just enjoy reading someone who I know is probably more messed up then me (though that's me denying my crazy).

Aurélia said...

Happy birthday love!
You can do it!

KrystalKlear said...

congrats on not binging! good luck! and i'm here whenever you need to talk :)


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