Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I hate my mom.

My mom found my stupid puke bowls under my bed for the millionth fucking time a few days ago, and she brought it up yesterday and i simply said "don't go looking for things you don't want to find."
She just got home from work and she starts going off about how she is going to take me to the hospital and keeps saying the DUMBEST stuff "Its a disease, do you want to die? you have to help yourself" the dumbest thing was this .. "I didn't raise you like this".
I SURE AS HELL HOPE YOU DIDN'T! what mother RAISES their child to have an eating disorder? she knows NOTHING about this and i try to tell her all the time that she doesn't.
Then she is like "I'm going to take you to the hospital yadadaddadada" and i say "Try it! You will NEVER see me again if you do"

I was suppose to go to the doctors last week but i didn't go, because i already got my results back from my liver and my back and my last appointment my doctor said i have no choice but to be weighed, so i knew i was going for my ED (which he hasn't fully diagnosed me with because i refuse to go to the doctors).

So i guess i don't know why I'm mad, i think its a combination of my STUPID mom saying stupid shit about something she knows nothing about, ATTEMPTING to force me to go to the hospital...

ok my mom just walked in my room and pissed me off a thousand times more.
Now she is blaming my town for my ED?
Why the hell does she stop blaming people and things. If anything it IS her fault and my stupid dad, my stupid family...


im so sick of everything...
Why can't life be good for more then a day or two? what does happy even feel like anymore? because i honestly have no idea... :'(
no food today... my appetite has never been so gone. 1L of Diet Pepsi to last all day.

Oh and to top it all off its my douche bag of a moms birthday today.
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY! you ruined it for yourself you bitch. go celebrate away from me.

Now reading over this post it looks like i am over exaggerating a bit, but there is more to it then what i typed out, of course like with most rants and raves.
but my mom is TOTALLY the bad guy in this situation hahha.


Anonymous said...

thank god you are getting MSN back x itd be great to talk to you =]

Jaz xx ps, you will overcome it all, you are a very very strong person, i promise x

Mindy said...

I'm sorry...I'm sure your mom is scared and just wants to help, but I know how frustrating it is when they just keep pushing. Try to stay strong...maybe you can get a lock for your door or something..ha ha. Anyway, I'm giving you big hugs...we're here for you...much love and happiness...

Sosic said...

lol yeah i am hoping to get MSN sometime tonight!
i need to find the time to reboot my entire computer blah blah blah! but i am hoping to make some time lol. it will keep me occupied anyways :)

and yeah i am trying to put myself in my moms shoes, but its hard. BUT IM TRYING! lol.
also, i use to have a lock on my door. but i accidentally locked it from the inside lmao, and then i had to take my doorknob off, so know i am left with a knobless(?) door. so i need to get myself a new door aahah!
but a lock is definitely on my birthday list


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