Thursday, August 19, 2010


Today was REALLY bad as far as food goes. Not so much a "binge" but i basically ate junk all though out the day, I purged though. i was 99lbs this "morning" after staying up all night. (I'm guessing i would be around 101 tomorrow though...oh god i think i just puked in my mouth a bit lol). Since i slept all day 2 days ago i ended up staying up all night last night and all day today and now its midnight. So tomorrow I am skipping weigh in day, taking a "Special pill" and fasting, and going to the movies with my cousin, his girlfriend and my brother. Then i need to get really hardcore since the 23rd and 24th i have a doctor & social worker appointment and i DO NOT want to go in looking fat. That's embarrassing. Well I feel like shit, and i know i look like it. I'm going to go purge this sandwich and rice i just ate (don't judge me hahah) and then go to sleep. I'm fucking exhausted and cant do any exercise, besides i already did a lot of dancing and jumping jacks earlier (which was basically pointless considering i just ate again. yuck) Tomorrow I will be back on track, I swear. I will be caught up on my sleep and it will be like a fresh start, I'm pretty excited actually!
OH one more thing, I went grocery shopping and bought 60 calorie chocolate pudding (Which is usually on my NEVER buy list) and 100 calorie Vita Top chocolate cookies (Which i use to buy until I got to into my "diet"). But i bought these to help me stay away from binging and purging for a longer time. I figure, If i eat only a yogurt a day like i was doing then i can treat myself to a pudding or cookie instead of a yogurt like once a week. I would do a salad a day like i use to..but ever since i found a worm in my head of lettuce, I am unfortunately sworn from salad for a long long ass time.
Here are some pictures of me i took today, I'm kind of pleased...But the angles of the pictures do me justice. But i figure if i look at these pictures it will help keep me on track.

God i wish i actually looked like that...
Weird how pictures can look so much different than reality... Okay i am just depressing myself. I am going to sleep now so tomorrow i can fast and feel light for the first time in a few days.

Stay strong guys!



This Template is Brought to you by : blogger templates