"Fuck It."

Fuck it = My new phrase. The quote I'm going to start living by.

I've decided this after FINALLY watching the show"Skins" and good old Chris (who im in love with, yeah i realize its a character haha) lived by that saying. Just fuck it...

Im using this "phrase" for everything, but mainly for food, and my bulimia.
I have been binging and purging so much lately i feel awful, i need to stop. Any emotion i feel leads to a binge. could it be im trying to full an emptiness inside? who knows. all i know is i feel like shit and i look like shit now and im ready to kick my bulimic habits and jump back into a not anymore healthy habit of restricting and fasting.
i was anorexic a year ago, i went from 145lbs to 102lbs, i started to binge and purge and got back up to 130lbs, that was a couple months ago, i realized how big i was getting so i stopped binging and purging and fasted and restricted and got down to 98lbs, that was last week, after binging and purging constantly for about a week now im up to around 104-105lbs(not to sure because im to scared to check. this always happens.i will feel so big and not weigh myself every time i pass my scale like i normally do) anyways. im stopping myself before i get back up to a terrible high number once again.
its 4:12am Wednesday August 11. and im not eating for 7 days. im drinking nothing but water and im going to finally get beautiful.

stay with me,motivate me.
this is my journey to get out of severe bulimia, and back into control and restricting,no help except the motivation and determination to be thin.
im super tired and have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning. ACK.

Im off to bed and tomorrow i will update and give a much better post :)

and remember folks.
just FUCK IT!