ANA TRULY IS THE ONLY ONE I CAN TRUST...
I have been having so many complaints about my EX best friend, she is really pissing me off lately. I will start off by saying, basically every time i said i felt physically ill, she would say she felt the same way, or if i said i had really chapped lips from purging before bed (i said they were cut up and super dry and splitting) and a couple days later she would tell me the exact same thing. she is also bulimic btw, so example, when we first met she said she made herself throw up, i told her i starved myself, from that day on she started fasting, she didn't even know what it was at first! another thing, she use to stop by my house unannounced all the time, when i stopped wanting to go out. she caught me at home in my room making a thinspo book, a few days later she did the same, i told her i was on a pro-ana forum site, and now shes joined pretty thin! she sent me a message on facebook with a link to pretty thin (AS IF I DIDNT FUCKIN KNOW ABOUT IT!) and tells me how much she "lovessss" the chat. so i joined the chat but didn't chat to spy on her lmao, and well she was talking about me and how she likes using me as competition but i "don't know". and then she was going off telling everyone stuff I TOLD HER I DO, and said SHE DOES THEM!. basically she is copying my eating disorder...? i mean i do my things unintentionally i WANT to stop! yet she is wanting to become just like me eating disorder wise? its frustrating, the competition is to much for me. i don't want competition in my life, god this is why i hate friends.
she seems so fake to me...
Not to mention she isn't very quiet about her eating disorder, she tells basically everyone she meets and she even purges in front of my parents! Half the people found out about ME because of her. GAH she pisses me off...
Maybe I'm jealous because I'm not the only one with an eating disorder anymore, i miss the whole its being my secret thing, it defined me and made me ME, My ex friend just makes it seem like...i don't even know i cant explain it.
But enough of her! I'm cutting her out.
I woke up this morning at 99lbs!
i had another small binge today because i smoked some weed,blah, but it was at 12am (midnight) so i basically did exactly 24 hours fast.
tomorrow i plan on eating 1 35 calorie yogurt, and walking both of my dogs at 2 seperate times for exercise. i want to do this until im down to 85lbs.
15 pounds to go, and i have until september 7th. eeeeeeeeek
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