Sunday, August 15, 2010

Update


HEY! its 11pm and I've only had my one 35 calorie yogurt and 4 coke zeros. SCORE. I'm starving, i swear i walked up and down my stairs at least 3 times to go get one pickle (three calories) and i always came back down with a coke zero (i have a mini fridge in my room with my "diet" foods). I didn't end up going to my brothers, which is probably better because i probably would have came back and munched out. Basically I'm in a really good mood and I'm fairly proud of myself, i had a slight headache earlier and i kept getting a nauseous/achy feeling in my stomach. but that will all pass sooner or later, if not, i can deal. I still need to clean my room sometime tonight which is a COMPLETE mess hahah, i saved it specifically for tonight so i can burn some extra calories.

I'm satisfied with how today went, I'm a little nervous for tomorrow but if i could turn down a late night binge when my dad made THE best chicken burgers and fries (god i love french fries!) which is a huge trigger for binges for me (sandwiches,wraps, BURGERS..) I'm pretty confident in tomorrow. Besides, i cant get where i want to eating all the time now can i? i have to suck up the cravings and urges if i want that feeling of success and control and power. Hunger hurts, but starving works ;) you know the saying people ! Plans for tonight? Watch a movie or documentary or tv show that has something to do with food,eating disorders, etc. and then after wards clean my room. I decided to save the cleaning for after the movie JUST IN CASE i eat one pickle or 5 calorie jello during the movie, then i can burn it off cleaning. I'm hoping i don't eat anything while watching the movie. but its just in case. Plans for tomorrow? Same deal as today no more then 50 calories. I need to go meet a couple kids i need to babysit in 2 days tomorrow so i don't scare them with my green hair when i watch them hahaha. I probably wont be home until around 4:30pm so i will eat a yogurt around 5.

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